Deep Down Part Two

On most days it’s calm, with no intent to do harm. 

Like a gentle cool breeze on a sunny day, carrying a hope to keep one out of the fray. 

Knowing the darkness within, it tumultuously battles itself to much chagrin. 

But alas, it’s a darkness that it must always outclass. 

A weapon to others, the darkness, but to it, one never to harness. 

Because it bellows like a furnace, out for vengeance. 

Never one to forgive a deliberate slight, willing to cause a blight. 

It pleads for freedom to destroy, with the seeds of destruction always at its employ. 

While it’s master yearns constantly for a resolution, to a battle of absolute destitution. 

Also seeking absolution to any past blight, even though the furnace’s fires burn ever so bright. 

Deep Down

​“…ok dear, bye. I love you.”

I ended the call and put my phone down on the sofa. I reminisced on the past weekend with my girlfriend. She lived in a different city so we both had to travel from time to time to see each other. 

I shook the thought of her out of my mind as I adjusted my briefs to kill a woody. 

I needed to buy a canister of insecticide because these damned mosquitos nearly ate me alive last night. 

I thought I would buy it, spray the rooms, then take a long stroll to GRA to buy dinner while the aerosol dissipated. Shawarma and some juice sounded like a good idea. 

It was a cool night, idle for taking a stroll. I hated strolls. Seemed pointless to me. But I needed to kill time. 

There were no stars in the sky, an indication of a cloudy night, even though the clouds couldn’t be seen because of the darkness. 

NEPA, abi PHCN, was good to us tonight so I didn’t have to listen to all those pesky hums of countless generators. I was however, prepared for that, as I had brought along my earphone and had the volume tuned to the highest. The music was so loud, I wouldn’t have heard you even if you shouted in my ears. 

I look left, then right, then left again before crossing the road. Halfway through, I feel a sharp pain on my right side as someone lunges into me and quickly forces me to the other side of the road. 

As we hit the ground, my earphone falls out of my ears and I hear a car horn blasting as a car without headlights sped off down the street, missing us by inches. 

I quickly realised what had happened as I looked at the man who had put himself in harms way to save my life. Something you may never see in your lifetime in Nigeria. 

He was panting heavily as he looked at me with relief and anger at the same time. He held my forearm and started shouting at me. Asking why I didn’t look before crossing. 

I interrupted his outburst with many words of gratitude but in that moment, something flashed in my mind. Thoughts I have always harboured deep down. Wicked, ungrateful and selfish thoughts that I never had the courage to give a voice to. 

If this man hadn’t tried to save me, that car would have finally put an end to my stay in this world. I would have gladly said goodbye, sayonara! 

There would be no more struggle, 

No more hustle. 

No need to thrive, 

Or try to survive. 

It was a thought, to some, scary, 

But to me, an end to worry. 

There would be no more sorrow, 

Because surely, I would wake up to a better tomorrow. 

I pushed the man away from me, 

Angry that he got me stuck in this reality. 

He was shocked by this but he didn’t realise that to me, 

In death, I would be free. 

I ignored him and the shock in his eyes, 

Not caring if he thought I was ungrateful I escaped demise. 

And so I quickly walked away as a crowd gathered, 

Thinking of how I reacted got me a little bothered, 

But grateful still that I didn’t get smothered.